Father's Days

Dear Daddy,

Wow.  Did you ever think you'd read those words, that they would be directed to you?

Mama says you held me first, so your face is the first image I have.  As such, Daddy, YOU are the beginning scene in my story.  I see myself reflected first in your eyes.  The first thing I ever saw was the love in your eyes, and that is as if branded in my mind. 

In case you are wondering, you're doing just fine at this daddy business.  Getting to know each other is an adventure for all of us.  I'll be growing and changing quickly and visibly, in measurable ways.  Your changes will be more significant than measurable, but very, very important.  You, yes, YOU, are a father.  Say it out loud:  I am a husband.  I am a father.  I am Rebekah's Daddy. 

You sound proud.  And maybe a little scared, because you didn't grow up surrounded by good father role models.  The good thing is, you are a person who can learn from the mistakes of others, as well as your own.  You survived and became so much more than your beginnings would have predicted.  For that matter, so did Mommy.  Don't doubt yourselves: I am starting MY own life in the arms of two people who would give up anything just to keep me safe.  I can tell. 

Pick me up and hold me a whole lot.  The day I'm too big for that is coming so much quicker than you think.  Sing to me before I can tell if you CAN sing or not.  Read to me, and make sure I see you enjoying reading, too. 

Respect my mother and make a conscious daily decision to make sure I learn first-hand how a good man treats his family.  You can do it.  You have hopes and dreams for me.  I have hopes and dreams for the three of us. 

You don't get to choose whether you are an example to me.  You only get to choose what KIND of example you are.

I'm your biggest fan right now.  And I suspect you are mine, too.

THE world is a big, exciting, and sometimes scary, place.  But, at least for today, MY world is clean, soft, loving, safe, and bright, because of you.

Rebekah

The Truth about your Mommy

1. Your Mommy has always loved you more than anything in the world, and that will never, never change.

2.  Your Mommy remembers exactly how it felt growing up Girl in the American South, and will understand what you are feeling way before you do.

3.  Your Mommy can (and will!) find the humor in just about any situation. 

4.  Your Mommy has inner strength she may not yet know she has, kind of the emotional equivalent of lifting a car off someone in the adrenaline rush of an accident, and she will suit up and fight against everything and everybody that might be looking to hurt you, her child.

5.  Your Mommy will sing and read to you at every opportunity, but, more importantly, she will LAUGH with you every day, helpinging build a strong immunity against the non-stop barrage of bad news that will soon assault your consciousness every day.

6.  She will teach you to laugh at yourself, but be kind to others.

7.  She will never be too busy to comfort you.  In fact, if you need comforting, it will disappoint her if you DON'T come to her.

8.  She will teach you by example that it's more important to BE a good person than to be-LONG to the right groups or organizations.

9.  She will encourage you to be your most unique, creative self, rather than passively LET you.  She won't be lying when she tells you your works of art are the best she's ever seen.

10. You can always trust your Mommy.  She won't ever lie to you, though she may have to carefully filter some truths until you are old enough to understand.

11.  You will never have a bigger fan, or a greater champion, than the woman who gazes on your sleeping face, with a cramp in her arm that she would rather endure than disrupt such a moment of blissful, perfect peace.  She would give anything to be able to give you this kind of peace for all of your life.

12.  She won't give you everything you want, but you will have everything you need.  During the first year of your life, your wants ARE your needs, and she understands this.  You will be a more secure, independent, and happy little girl because your needs were met when you were a baby.

13. Your Mommy would rather cut off her own arms than use them to hurt her child.  Discipline without the "rod" is actually more difficult and less understood, but the parent who practices SELF-discipline first is willing to sacrifice the "quick fix" of a spanking in order to teach her child in the way she should go.  Hitting, no matter how people try to change the wording to be less offensive, teaches that whoever is the biggest and/or strongest gets to be in charge and set the rules.  History is full of large-scale examples of the folly of this kind of thinking. 

14. Your Mommy will make some mistakes along the way- she is HUMAN, after all.  She may even lose her temper and say things she regrets as soon as they come out of her mouth.  But the difference between her and other people you may encounter is that when Mommy says she is sorry, she will truly mean it.  And, if ever she makes you cry, you can be sure her own tears will outnumber your own.

15. You WILL take your Mommy for granted for quite some time as you work hard at the business of growing up, but she will NEVER take for granted the miracle that is you.